On Friday, I had the end of my two weeks at my previous role. The prior two weeks were uncomfortable. I am feeling wayward emotionally.
Personally, when I transition state, I get emotionally rocky. This has happened forever. Event something as small as a time change.
I did not have anything to do at work over the past two weeks. I had conversations that I did not want to have. It felt like an awkward breakup.
Looking forward makes me nervous. I am betting on myself. I have a fear of failure. What if I am wrong?
That is the question I grapple with the most. My decisions are made based off the avoidance of being wrong. Why? I can’t accept or acknowledge that it is ok to be wrong. Sounds like a real problem.
This weekend in the car, I told my partner how I was feeling. I spend so much time thinking about scenarios in my head. It consumes me. I feel relief when I share.
I am excited for the unknown. I do not know how difficult or easy it will be. I am excited to rebuild my confidence. I am testing my ability to do the things I believe I am capable of doing. I am building a personal flywheel. I want to align the things that I enjoy doing in my free time with what I do for work.
I want this next week to be for positioning. I need to molt from my prior attachments and prepare myself to embrace the new changes.